In every relationship, there is need for maturity. Be it marriage, dating and even cordial relationships it is important that the parties are mature. Immaturity is what causes bad relationship. There is no way a relationship will be successful without maturity. It is impossible for two people to dwell together without maturity. In the colleges and high schools, it is maturity that keeps two people from different backgrounds together and they live together as roommates. Whereas immaturity puts them apart. Maturity is not an option for a successful relationship.
Maturity is not a question of age, it is a matter of decision or choice. Being responsible does not have anything to do with age. As ancient proverb says, “age is just a number”. That is why St. Paul said… “when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things”. 1st Cor 13:11. Maturity comes in different ways. Maturity helps couples, lovers and friends to live peacefully, joyfully and cordially.
Maturity could be demanding at times. It is a necessity for a lasting marriage, perfect marriage and joyful living. It requires the ability to know when to say NO or YES have self-control and balance things.
Maturity occurs in so many areas of life. It could be physical maturity, mental maturity, social maturity, spiritual maturity, emotional maturity and financial maturity:
Mental maturity, requires development of the mind. Mental maturity demands the ability to take decisions. Being able to stick with the right decisions and also be responsible for your decisions. It is acquired through reading books, attending seminars making researches and engaging in mental activities. Speaking to people much higher than you in every area you want to improve. To be a male is a matter of chance, but to be a man is a question of choice. This area is very important that both the man and the woman develop it. It is mental maturity that causes a man to defend his wife outsides whenever he is told what the wife did outside. Hence, cautions and corrects her in the bedroom not in the public.
In Physical maturity, the saying age is just a number, does not really apply. In a marital relationship, a ten year old girl cannot talk about marriage, because, there is a tendency she cannot conceive at that age. Even if her system is developed, she cannot bear the pains of child labour and hence should not go into marriage. It is very crucial to attain physical maturity. It is crucial to grow up.
Another area of maturity is social maturity. You should be able to interact with people in a godly manner. There is a saying, “the way you dress, is the way you are addressed”. Learn to dress responsibly, wear decent dresses. Be polite in the way you talk to people. A kind answer soothes anger, but a harsh word increases wrath. (Pro 15:1). Be romantic, learn how to address people. Social maturity requires the ability to say, “I am sorry” even when you are the one offended. You should be able to say “please”.
Spiritual maturity also counts. Relationship (marriage) without spirituality is just like a house without foundation. It enables you to take some things you cannot take normally. Spirituality, is not a function of position in church. All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits. Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. (Pro. 16:3). Your character must depict love. You should be able to forgive when offended. Pray at all times.
Emotional maturity: Here, you must be able to control and manage your emotion. You cannot give what you don’t have. Love genuinely, don’t love because you think your mates are married or about to marry. You should be able to control circumstances. Do not allow your happiness be determined by other persons. You don’t fall in love with everybody that comes your way.
Financial maturity is an essential area of maturity. A man should be able to provide and cater for his family. It costs money to take care of a marriage or sustain a relationship. You have to be doing something that pays enough to take care of bills and other miscellaneous expenses before you should talk about marriage. School fees are involved, house rents are involved, hospital bills and others. The partakers of a relationship should sit down and think about how they are going financially before they consider getting married. Financial maturity involves spending judiciously. You don’t buy everything that comes your way. You have to set your priorities and scale of preference. It does not necessary mean that you should be very wealthy or be a millionaire before marriage. But have a financial focus.
In conclusion, for a relationship to stand the tides of time, maturity is not an option, but a must have. You don’t do anything because others are doing it. Do it because you can handle whatever that comes out of it.