When a young man is grown and mature for a relationship and is ready to settle down, he begins to look for a lady to settle down with. This may take him months and at times, years to get his description of a wife. The lady in question does not just say yes and jump in, she ought to think and rethink. She seeks to know some things so as to ascertain the type of man he is. Are they compatible? Can he take care of my needs? These are few out of many. We take a look at some other inquiries she ought to make, either openly or reciprocally to discern the right man.


This question is very important because so many men cannot ascertain why and what prompted them to approach a woman. The lady in question, if not mentally fit, may be perplexed with the question, talk more of the answers she might get. It’s very important to know why it has to be you of all the ladies out there. He should be able to give you tangible reasons. Answers to this question may surprise you. You’ll see answers like…Behold, thou art fair, my love;  behold, thou art fair;  thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks:  thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing;  whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely:  thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. Thou art all fair, my love;  there is no spot in thee.  (Song of Solomon 4:1-7)

Are these answers what you think that can sustain your marriage?


Here comes the saying “It’s not how far, but how well”. Have you developed a very good relationship with him? What has your discussions with him been about? Is he a friend? Do you feel comfortable, relaxed, and at peace around him? If your answers to these questions is positive then you are on track. 

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This question may be reciprocal and does not warrant an open answer. You have to discern the answers yourself. Here you need to know if he can take responsibilities, take strong decisions on his own without the influence of his family. Can he act without consulting a third party? Can he give you the necessary protections from extended family? Can he provide for you? Can he sacrifice?


…And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;  I will make him an help meet for him.(Gen 2:18) How do you think together? Do you think you can help him get to his dream land and he takes you to yours? Do you people have the same vision? Remember, Can two walk together, except they be agreed?  (Amos 3:3). Do you have the same faith as he? (faith here mustn’t be the same church, but the same believe or ideology). This question is very important because, in as much as goat and sheep are domestic animals, they don’t stay together. “Ontological specimens of identical plumage, invariably conglomerate in the same vicinity”.


After proposal, what next? Before you become “Lord of the ring”, you need to know when and what he is saying about marriage? Is he ready to marry or has he come to waste your time and keep you “engaged” for eternity? Find out so you don’t let the true ones go unknowingly.

Having said all these, if you are able to get positive answers from these questions then you are on the path to success. It is necessary to know if he is a Christian. Does he have the fear of God? Who motivates him and encourages him. This is when you say…“ It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth:  I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. (Song of Solomon 3:4)




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