The piano plays softly. You battle with the torrent of emotions. You put on your brave face and then your eyes settle on the photograph of the one you lost, torrents of feelings and emotions and sometimes the tears come freely.
You pick the shovel, pack some dirt, you don’t know why so little dirt feels so heavy. Maybe because you can feel the weight in your heart. You know in your heart of hearts the dead won’t come back… Yes they won’t but they are not lost.
It can be a traumatizing experience. It can shake beliefs, raise a lot of questions, cause a lot of rift and even bring people together. A rather harrowing experience, it puts people in the position to question their God.
One thing we need to know is that the God of the living is also the God of the grave. King David in the Psalms said,”…even if I go down to the grave you’re there…” That feeling of helplessness, loss is misplaced, because even though you may never see them again in your lifetime, you can be sure to meet them at the resurrection.The Apostle Paul said,..for the lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: the dead in Christ shall rise first: then ye which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the lord in the air…” 1Thess 4:16. In essence we’ll meet with the dead on the rapture.
“Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead?”1Cor.15:12. Why the loss feeling?
If your loved one had Christ while alive you can be sure that they are practically sleeping. ” For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive”.1Cor.15:22
Christ has won over death and if Christ is in you, you have won over death and the fact that your loved one died cannot keep you down.
Now, here’s a few steps to help you back on your feet:
- Accept the death of the person. They have given up the ghost and are no more conscious of this world. Death is inevitable, it’s in fact a transition. You cannot be scared of the inevitable.
- Make peace with the death. You may still get teary eyed when their memories come up, but you are no longer bitter.
- Don’t try so hard to forget.It’s a gradual process, you may not forget their memories but it won’t be so much a recurring thought
- Talk about it with a family member, friend or acquaintance who is also affected. Help them get on their own peace.
- If someone was responsible for the death, forgive, let them off your heart and mind. They are not worth harbouring.
- Never stay alone. Don’t reject companionship. Don’t stay with people who offer condolences, stay with people who are after your well being and offer support.
- Cast your cares on God. Cast them all: fears, tears, faithlessness, worry, unsettled mind…every one of them- on Jesus Christ. “Come unto me all who labour and are heavily laden and I will gibe you rest”. He wants to share your moments with you.
Always remember that God loves you. I they were your fiancé, fiancée, spouse, lover- you love them if you remember them and not ruining your life by mulling over them. Those steps above if applied will try to offer help and succour. Seek spiritual and medical advice if need be. Don’t forget to let us know what you think, we’d love to hear from you.