LONELINESS: THE SECRET KILLER OF MARRIAGE

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Marriage, which is a union established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as partners. When united, these parties, are no longer different individuals, they become one body and one flesh. They are regarded and see as one. That is how the bible made it from time immemorial. But the big question is, “can a married person still be lonely?” Married and still lonely? How can that be, you may ask. Marriage is not an immediate relief for loneliness; that is to say,don’t believe that marriage is the cure for loneliness. It is very wise for the married to continue with romance even after marriage. The essence of romance cannot and will never be overemphasized.

Marriage is not a political campaign, where you stop campaigning immediately after election. You don’t stop wooing your woman just because she has accepted to marry you or just because you have married her. I hear some people ask, “Does a politician still campaign after winning election”? I say yes, but with different strategy. This is simple, if he does not, the electorates will pass a vote of no confidence. How will he campaign? He campaigns by keeping his campaign promises like, infrastructural development, making policies to better the well being of the masses. He does the campaign of integrity. Same thing applies in marriage. You woo your woman in different strategies from the styles you used to convince her to marry you. Continue to date your wife in your marriage. Play with her, take her out often, just two of you. Have a weekend getaway often, in a hotel or resort. Keep the love fresh and you’ll keep loneliness away. Keep recreating your honeymoon experience as often as possible.

Your spouse should not be left out in decision making. For marriage sake, you have become one. Does your wife or your husband know why you are taking a particular decision? Inability to carry your spouse along when you take decisions can often bring this feeling of loneliness in them. Don’t shove down the decisions you have taken down the throat of your spouse and force them to go along with you. When you allow your spouse to contribute, it gives him/her a sense of belonging. Please, let them make inputs. Some things can wait until both of you agree. That new project you want to carry out, don’t you think she has a contribution in it? Be it financially or even words of advice. When the man wants to furnish a new apartment which he is to live in with his wife, let the woman choose the colors of the curtain, even the wall paintings. Women are better in these areas, don’t try to surprise your woman in this, she knows better. The surprise is not necessary in this case, it can weight.

Distance could be another aid to loneliness, when you keep late nights you are actually making your wife or your husband to feel lonely. It is true, physical proximity does not cure loneliness, but at least be present and take advantage of your being there to bond with your spouse. This one may not seem so important but it helps greatly in driving loneliness away from any marriage. Spend some times with your spouse, let your family see you around often. Take your spouse to eateries, especially over the weekends. Go to sports stations and play games with them, play together and keep your spouse company. When couples go to church and social functions together, it creates this feeling of wholeness and fulfillment in the couples concerned not to mention that women see it as very important and valuable to them. House chores are not meant for the wives alone, the home is for the both of you. Help your wife out with home chores. You can tend the baby, while she is in the kitchen preparing food. Why not go the kitchen and keep her company, maybe cut vegetables, or even help her wash the dishes. The kitchen isn’t hers alone. It belongs to you too. You should also pray together at home. A family that prays together, stays together. Find out how you have kept your spouse lonely and then improve, this way, you revive your marriage.

 

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

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