No body marries with the intention to divorce except a contract marriage where the couple marry just for immediate gain and divorce when this purpose is achieved. Then this is not a Christian marriage. There is no doubt that the reasons for divorce are numerous. Apart from the reasons mentions here – financial issues, infidelity, abuse and many more. There are other reasons for marriage failure and how to avert them and these are what we discuss below
- NONCHALANT ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOUR RELATIONSHIP
So many people fail to remember in a relationship, intimacy is a primary and essential tool. When couples are confirmed married, the usual jokes and fun they enjoyed before marriage tend to phase out. There is no more fun as they take everything more serious. Gradually the romance that kept them together depreciates and anxiety sets in. Have you forgotten that marriage has to do with living together? No one cares about the marriage anymore because “hard work” has become the choice of word in the family. The couple feel pressured to sustain the marriage. Remaining close even in confusion will always ring the bell of commitment to your ears at all times. Don’t ever forget about the love you shared initially, the connection that brought you together in marriage. When you remember this, you will remember to put keen interest in your relation to make it work and not fail.
- LACK OF SELF DEVELOPMENT PLANS
The law of gravity states that, “What goes up must surely come down”. In other words, what you sow, you shall reap. Putting in the necessary efforts to know what will make your marriage work out is necessary. Work on your self-development. What are you lacking? What do you feel you are not doing well? Take out some times, get some books, read them and visit a marriage counsellor. Make out time to sit and discuss your challenges together and figure out your different opinions.
- UNREALISTIC EXPECTTIONS
The issue of expectation in marriage is not a new thing again. One major thing about expectation is that most times, it ends in disappointment. It could be you expected much from your spouse and when you don’t get what you expected, the marriage is in limbo. It is better to tell your spouse what you want than expect them figure it out, because it is hard to meet expectations. Secondly most people go into marriage expecting their spouse to change along the line. They forgot that the person in question was raised in a different environment and at different circumstances. Due to this, expectations tend to drill the happiness in the marriage away. Hence it is one of the reasons for marriage failure.
- SOCIETAL OR FAMILIAL PRESSURE
Allowing members of the extended family – mum, dad or siblings interfere in whom we marry in most cases, doesn’t go well with young couples. When issues come up in marriage and probably goes contrary to what they want, you hear things like, “I warned you about that boy/girl but you wouldn’t listen”. ‘Had it been you listened to me’ all these blame issues tend to weigh the spirit of the man/woman in question down and the thought of divorce gradually creeps in. Secondly, societal pressure has more effects on the women than the man. Whenever a woman gets into her 30s, but not married, she begins to feel the pressure and most times prays for anything husband. When she eventual marries out of frustration, after some times she realizes that it wasn’t actually what she wanted and the taste of dissatisfaction becomes the problem.
The above are reasons for marriage failure and how to avert them. In other to effectively avert marriage failure, do not rush into marriage when you are not prepared for it. Give it your time and thought and find out if it is really what you want. Don’t expect to see anything different from what you see while you were dating each other. Also try to have room for discussion, negotiation and dialogue whenever you feel any of these signs.