Nowadays, the issue of abuse are not the actions of men alone, wives also abuse their husbands knowingly or unknowingly. Most men get abused without even knowing it simply because, generally they are unaware because they feel it’s impossible for a woman to abuse them. Listed below are telling signs of an abusive wife.
- VERBAL ABUSE
It is believed that generally women have no control over their tongue – I mean no harm. In as much as this is true, some issues are exceptional, no doubt you can agree with me on this. A wife is abusive when she “enjoys” consciously or unconsciously, shouting, yelling at you at every slightest chance over nothing. Nothing good comes out of her mouth about you at all times, she criticizes you, rejects your opinions and make you believe you are walking on eggshells.
There is a telling sign that you are in for a rough ride in your marriage when your wife reacts angrily most times to you or to people around you. She fights you, punches you, slaps you and at times she punches walls or toss anything she picks at you. This is a sign of an abusive wife, and she may end up macheting you one day. The bad thing about a violent wife is that her actions instill fear in you. She makes you fear for your life, she threatens you and frightens you.
- GAS LIGHTING
At times you see yourself wondering if you understand what reality really means. You are very sure of what your partner said the previous time, but she glaringly denies them with all confidence making you to question yourself. Some of these statements are what we are actually talking about – ‘I didn’t do that’, ‘I didn’t say any such’, ‘when did I say that?’ Her behaviours can make you doubt yourself or even cause loss of trust in your own self. Along the line, you may get manipulated into believing her more than yourself. At any time you observe anything as this, be careful to observe if you are abused mentally because it is one of the signs of mental abuse.
- CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR
Abusive wives are the most controlling people ever known since the time of creation – ask Adam! When your wife determines who comes to your house, who you hang out with, where you go and where you don’t, which relatives you visit or those who visit you, where you work (at times), what you wear (this is nice though but…), then you are in it. I mean she indirectly abuses you. She makes use of every possible means to get her way – stop talking to you, ignores you, stop being romantic with you, until she gets what she wants.
Most wives are unforgiving. An unforgiving wife is no doubt an abusive wife. The moment you begin to feel there is no way to make up for your mistakes when it concerns your wife, it’s a sign she is abusive. No matter how much you plead for her forgiveness, she is still bent on not forgiving you. Possibly, she remembers the past events and begins to recount them as reasons she won’t forgive you, please learn to be cautious!
- POOR HANDLING OF CRITICISM
An abusive wife cannot deal with criticism. You find it difficult to give useful feedback without her getting provoked. She feel insulted whenever she’s corrected, but must not fail to correct you at any given opportunity even in the midst of your pals. Your wife doesn’t apologize whenever she wrongs you. She is “Mrs. Right” and you are “Mr. Wrong”.
Your wife demonstrates a bad mood on seeing you talk with someone else – especially opposite sex. Mind you, she is right to be jealous, after all she is your wife and deserves an explanation. Hmm, when it concerns your family? The jealousy in this case is totally different. She gets angry when she sees you with colleagues at work or even in church exchanging handshakes. She doesn’t need you discussing with companions or family.
Deciding and defining what is acceptable and what is not acceptable is a sure way to curb abuses from your wife. Let her understand that you are both married to each other and the moment she gets that, she will value or opinions and respect you.