The reasons many Christians remain unmarried for a long time have been treated by so many preachers and writers. Today so many ministries have dedicated themselves to treat the issues of marriage. So many marriage seminars with different topics on marriage treated. The issues of marriage are still mysterious, hence so many Christians remain unmarried. Even those married still find it difficult to deal with so many issues that come up along the line.
Without much preambles, let us get started on 6 reasons many Christians remain unmarried for a long time.
- DIFFICULTY IN EARLY ESTABLISHMENT.
This point is no doubt the problem faced by every average man whose parents are not either wealthy, or hold one political position or appointment. This especially is found with fresh graduates who are still plying their trade of survival. As the rate of unemployment increases, young graduates have no jobs and cannot think about settling down. What if the young man earns just $80-$100 a month? How will he settle down? Because of difficulty in establishing himself, the issue of marriage becomes a fairytale to this young man. He can even stay for as long as decades trying to fix himself talk more of fixing another – marriage. Most times, he ends up staying in his father’s house.
- DILAPIDATED MORAL AND SPIRITUAL STANDARDS
It is without doubt that so many young people refuse to marry as a result of their quest for promiscuity. To be sincere, marriage is a one man, one woman affair, hence so many choose not to marry in order not to tie themselves down to just one man/woman. When they can have as many as they want without offending anyone, what is the need to marry. Some want to be totally free, some do not want any responsibility. When they have all they want without marriage, the desire for marriage automatically eludes them.
- UNREASONABLE STANDARDS OR EXPECTATIONS
In today’s contemporary society, so many Christians, in a bid to be above average have set up unrealistic and unreasonable standards for themselves and are not willing to compromise these standards for anything. Some of these standards are – Financial status, levels of establishment, physique etc. So many ladies have vowed that they will not marry a Christian that is not a billionaire or at least a millionaire. This they keep to it. Some also feel that their choice of man is the one that must have six-packs, fair in complexion, at least 6ft tall and so many other things. Some men also prescribe their specification for a wife – she must be a graduate, she must be very sound in English, she must be fair, she must be endowed front and back, she must be a good chef and so on. These are standards that are not necessary, even if they are, they are not meant to stop them from settling down, yet they do. Watch carefully, most of these standards are actually no barriers, they can even be acquired in the marriage and so should not be a problem. Take note! These standards fade with times.
- CONFUSION ABOUT THE “PERFECT MATCH”
So many refuse to get married because of what they read or heard from a preacher. It is not to say they don’t want to marry. But because of fear of a message they listened to at a point in time or what they have read some time somewhere. They have been told about the dangers of settling down with the wrong man or woman hence they are confused. They keep waiting for the right man all their lives to ensure they don’t make mistakes and end up with the “wrong person”.
- PARENTAL INFLUENCES
Poor and ungodly parental influences have made so many not to marry. Some parents create some unnecessary difficulties for their children, due to their selfishness. Some go as far as directly or indirectly determining where their children should marry or shouldn’t marry from. In some places, marriage requirements are so exorbitant that young lovers cannot think of getting married because they cannot foot the bills of marriage requirements.
- “PROPHETIC REVELATION”
So many “men of God” are very good at this. They have confused so many Christians. When a preacher sees a lady and tells her, “I have seen your husband, his name is…, he is this and that”. The lady takes this up and whoever that comes to her, the first thing that comes to her mind is the description given to her by the man of God. With these descriptions, she concludes that there is no need hooking up with the guy, since her pastor has described her husband. She feels very comfortable waiting for the so described man all her life. The same thing happens to the men. This prophesy issue, I guess is the worst. Even if the man finally shows up, she accepts him hook, line and sinker without even figuring out if they can cope. It is not only the ladies, even the men are also victims. This deception is what causes deterioration in marriages in today’s homes.